married woman Lilith
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  • How old am I:
  • 22
  • What is my ethnicity:
  • Syrian
  • My sexual identity:
  • I like man
  • I prefer to drink:
  • I prefer to drink cider
  • Tattoo:
  • None


Wrote this in frustration.


They were all able to go home late at night, after Ted had finally been discharged, his hands freshly wrapped. They protested but they knew the doctor was right. Ted tried not to think about the fact that they were just as useless if they were at their very most alive and awake. At four in the morning, he woke, sweaty but cold. When he came out into the living room, he found Robin sitting up wrapped in blankets, staring straight ahead.

The room was dark, but he thought her eyes looked puffy. He knew how much this must frighten her. It scared him so much he woke up drenched in cold sweat — it had to scare her the same way.

Maybe even worse, because he knew first hand how Robin tended to shut down whenever things got too emotional. He had no idea how to answer her.

No truth could calm her, because the truth was that Barney had looked like he was already dead. Getting hit by a bus was bound to be bad. He pulled her to him instead and after a moment of sitting stiffly, she relaxed a bit into his embrace. Ted smiled slightly into her hair. You can do anything you put your mind to. He wondered if she was crying. They fell into some half-slumber there on the couch, her head on his shoulder, and stayed that way until Marshall and Lily stumbled out of bed an hour and a half later.

Lily brewed coffee and poured it into four mugs that they could bring with them and then they took a cab to the hospital. No one felt like sitting around in the apartment. The doctor had promised to call should anything change drastically during the night. The Barney and robin fanfiction of calls must mean that Barney was, at the very least, still alive. He has been stable since last night with no change for better or worse.

Ted went in last this time. She looked like she might at any second. She looked away, hiding her face in her hands. And with the heartbeat and the breathing, that makes him still alive. We need to stay positive. The big Bro Code break.

Barney slept with Robin, Barney broke the Bro Code, Barney gets thrown out in the cold — what right do you have to judge him? Ted wondered briefly how things had turned upside down so quickly. And what was he supposed to do about what had happened? What was done was done. He ignored the guilt pointedly, even though it crashed on his head like an avalanche. There was annoyance too, now, because Barney had been wrong to sleep with Robin. What right did Lily have to judge him? Common fucking decency between friends!

A small part of him knew that that was a big, fat lie — Barney certainly had common decency. He might not always choose to use it, but he certainly had it. Without ceremony, she grabbed Ted and Lily both by the arm and led them firmly out the door. Robin and Marshall stared after them.

Ted glared at the nurse for a short moment before turning his ire at Lily. Not in here. The sun had started to rise but it was still very early morning, the air crisp and fresh. Because he loved her? Sure, he did, but not that way. Not anymore. That should mean that Barney and Robin were both his friends and as such should be treated equally.

Because Robin was a girl? Well, she was, but she was also a gun happy and sleeping around as much as Ted. Barney was a bastard who took home a new girl every night. Barney drank, smoked cigars, made a lot of money doing God knew what kind of work.

Barney was ish ass most of the time and could thus be treated as such. He craves your attention and you just throw it in his face. How the hell is that doing anything but throwing it in his face? He had behaved like a way worse bastard than Barney ever had. He had married Lily and Marshall and paid for their honeymoon. And the good stuff?

If Ted got drunk and tried to do something stupid, then Barney just cheered him on — the Pineapple Incident had been more than enough proof of that. And going on adventures with Barney was always awesome. People bustled by.

He swallowed hard; the spot where the bus had hit Barney was right in front of him. Between the busses passing by, Ted could see the darkened spot of dried blood on the asphalt. He wished he could go back and get into a different cab to begin with. Where would Barney be then?

In his office, surely. Beyond the new-girl-each-night thing, Barney was a workaholic. Ted sat down with a sigh, leaning against the wall of the hospital building. He sat there, staring at the people passing by, until someone mistook him for a homeless person and threw him a nickel. Days passed and some sort of relative normality settled.

Robin and Ted both started working again while Marshall and Lily, unemployed and off from work because of school recess respectively, stayed in the hospital with Barney. Robin and Ted both came there as soon as they got off work.

James came to town and stayed in the hospital most of the time. Ted wanted to make up with her, but he had no idea how to start. James had left to go for a walk, unable to sit still at the hospital any longer. Ted looked at Barney, wishing fervently as he had so many times in the last few days that he would wake up.

Barney is part of the group, dude. He would have said more, except Barney chose that exact moment to start moving. Barney blinked rapidly against the dim light of the room, his gaze continuing to flicker this way and that. Just stay with me, Barney. He felt a little like he was talking tobut it calmed both himself and Barney. A few moments later, Barney was free of the ventilator. He coughed and gulped down air, eyes squeezing shut. Ted stayed beside him. Barney should hate him for how Ted had treated him. A nurse gave Barney an ice chip to suck on, soothing his unused throat, while the doctor started running Barney through a series of tests.

Barney flinched as the doctor shone a light in his eyes but said nothing. Barney looked at him and there was a shadow of his old Barney and robin fanfiction in his eyes. Ted wondered where Marshall had gone before — had he been there the whole time?

The nurse left and then the doctor, after a promise to return once Barney had recovered a little. That left Ted, Barney and Marshall in the room. Ted caught the meaningful look Marshall sent him. It was the look that said that if Ted wanted to keep being friends with Lily — and by extension Marshall — then he needed to apologize to Barney. Barney looked at him, eyes filled with pain and regret. Barney was only half-alive and he was the one apologizing? Just how much did he value their friendship? His heart broke at the sight of Barney looking at him, almost shyly, blue eyes flickering.

There was such adoration in his gaze it almost scared Ted.

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As Lily counsels Barney on his feelings for Robin, Robin finds help from an unexpected source.


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